


There's Only One Bed, and Blaise is Under It

by cloudeater (anxiousgoat), gigglefit (NoctuaLusa), Ravenclaw_Cait, seanisfinnigan



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: All wizards are gay, Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anxiousgoat/pseuds/cloudeater, https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctuaLusa/pseuds/gigglefit, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenclaw_Cait/pseuds/Ravenclaw_Cait, https://archiveofourown.org/users/seanisfinnigan/pseuds/seanisfinnigan
Summary: Neville confronts a fear, smooches a steamy Oliver Wood and find a Zabini under the bed.
Relationships: Neville Longbottom/Blaise Zabini, Neville Longbottom/Oliver Wood, Neville longbottom/Blaise Zabini/Oliver Wood
Kudos: 4
Collections: Fanatical Fam's Crackfic Chaos





	There's Only One Bed, and Blaise is Under It

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Crackfic written by the Fanatical Fam over on the discord for the Fanatical Fics and Where To Find Them podcast!  
> These fics have been created using our favourite bot - Chocolate Frogs - during a game we like to call Crackfic Chaos.

Neville awoke suddenly, unsure why he had. He peered around blearily, but didn't immediately see anything out of the ordinary. Ron and Harry were draped together on Ron's bed, and Seamus and Dean were cuddled on Dean's. Sometimes Neville wished he had someone other than Trevor in his bed. 

Suddenly, he saw movement in the corner of the room. 

"Is that you?" Neville whispered. The figure emerged from the shadows and it was indeed Oliver Wood. 

"Want to come and join us?" he said. Neville jumped out of bed and followed Oliver out. Oliver and Neville walked silently through Gryffindor tower, trying not to wake up the other students. 

But suddenly, with a loud crack, Peeves appeared. 

“Oooh” cackled Peeves, what’s going on here! “Two Gryffindor’s sneaking off together! And where do you lions think you’re going!” Neville jumped nearly out of his skin. Peeves always gave him the heebiejeebies, but tonight especially so, as the poltergeist was wearing what appeared to be a pink cardigan, fuzzy pink cat slippers, and a fuchsia alligator-skin handbag. It was... disturbing, to say the least. 

Seeing Peeves in this outfit, reminded him of his second least favourite teacher - Dolores Umbridge. He could not stand it - and decided that this was a time to stand up to the poltergeist, to not let him ruin this night. So he waved his wand, his hand over his nose and mouth, and a huge cloud of pepper flew through the air. Peeves gagged and fled. Neville stood there, enormously proud of himself and wondering where Oliver had gone.

Neville heard coughing and found Oliver hiding behind one of the long velvet curtains in the common room. He held out his hand to Oliver and summoned all of his Gryffindor bravery and courage, before saying “Come on then, but there’s only one bed”. Oliver looked directly into Neville’s eyes before moving so close that Neville could feel his breath against his cheek. 

“Neville” said Oliver, “one bed is all we’re going to need.” 

Neville blushed furiously and gulped. To mask that his shyness came back, he hurriedly took off his robes - and stood before Oliver and the only bed in nothing but his boxers. Phew. The first step was done. Oliver kissed Neville all over, but when he got to his feet he noticed that there was someone under the bed. Yanking them out by the collar, he found that it was Blaise.

"Joining us?" he said, and Blaise removed their own clothes at top speed. Neville was impressed. 

"Wow, I guess the rumours are true, all wizards are gay” thought Neville. He reached out to run his hands down Oliver’s hard quidditch muscles and shivered as Blaise started to caress his face, neck and chest. Oliver quickly started snogging Blaise, and Neville sat up and joined in enthusiastically. 

“Lie back and enjoy Neville” said Blaise, “Oliver and I are going to change your life”... Neville obeyed the intimidating Slytherin, allowing his hand to... slither in... to his pants. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A passage of time ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next morning, Neville awoke to a bed full of tangled, sweaty limbs. He glanced over at the other beds in the room, which looked similar, and smiled. Trevor would have to find somewhere else to sleep, but he'd get over it.


End file.
